Wonkette
JIM GIBBONS DIVORCE INSANITY: America's worst governor and alcoholic adulterous sex-assaulter crook Jim Gibbons and his power-crazed wife Dawn are finally getting the divorce everybody always knew they'd get, and it's going to be ugly, and the court documents are hilarious. [My Silver State/Las Vegas Gleaner]
happy as ever
The great George W. Bush delivered the commencement address at Colorado's Air Force Academy today, the same day that his former hobbit slave was publicizing mean books about him. Here he is this morning "chest-bumping" a graduate, who has probably already died in Iraq. [AP Photo]
Scott McClellan Can't Ruin George Bush Junior's Day
The great George W. Bush delivered the commencement address at Colorado's Air Force Academy today, the same day that his former hobbit slave was publicizing mean books about him. Here he is this morning "chest-bumping" a graduate, who has probably already died in Iraq. [AP Photo]
Outdoor Advertising
Ooh looky it's another Kustomized Kampaign Trinket for you, the reader! For just $250, you can show the world that YOUR NAME totally supports JOHN MCCAIN. But are there any names or phrases that Gramps McCain won't accept on his Prideful Outdoor Banners?
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John McCain's Biggest Fan: 'Your Name'
Ooh looky it's another Kustomized Kampaign Trinket for you, the reader! For just $250, you can show the world that YOUR NAME totally supports JOHN MCCAIN. But are there any names or phrases that Gramps McCain won't accept on his Prideful Outdoor Banners?
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abc afterschool special
We usually don't like to encourage the comedy YouTube jokes because none of them are funny, or it's something you can watch on the TeeVee, later, on your sofa or whatever, eating your "carry out." But this is great, although it's unrealistic to have an ultimately likable little girl in the role. Also, the dude who is married to Rebecca Romijn directed this. [YouTube/Big Lead]
Even Little-Girl Hillary Was A Conniving Monster
We usually don't like to encourage the comedy YouTube jokes because none of them are funny, or it's something you can watch on the TeeVee, later, on your sofa or whatever, eating your "carry out." But this is great, although it's unrealistic to have an ultimately likable little girl in the role. Also, the dude who is married to Rebecca Romijn directed this. [YouTube/Big Lead]
Mission Accomplished
SEE WHAT EVERYONE'S SAYING ABOUT SCOTT MCCLELLAN'S NEW #1 BOOK, GEORGE BUSH JR. MADE VAGUE ERRORS!
"I would think if he harbored such deep feelings about things he wouldn't have and shouldn't have accepted the press secretary job in the first place." — ARI FLEISCHER, bald press secretary before Scott McClellan.
"Total crap." — DAN BARTLETT, former White House communications director.
"Left-wing logger." — KARL ROVE, White House turd blossom.
"I totally agree." — NANCY PELOSI, known Liberal.
"Why don't you learn something about the monument." — HILLARY CLINTON, civil rights leader.
WHAT A BOOK! (Now let us never speak of it again.)
Scott McClellan's A Big Hit!
SEE WHAT EVERYONE'S SAYING ABOUT SCOTT MCCLELLAN'S NEW #1 BOOK, GEORGE BUSH JR. MADE VAGUE ERRORS!"I would think if he harbored such deep feelings about things he wouldn't have and shouldn't have accepted the press secretary job in the first place." — ARI FLEISCHER, bald press secretary before Scott McClellan.
"Total crap." — DAN BARTLETT, former White House communications director.
"Left-wing logger." — KARL ROVE, White House turd blossom.
"I totally agree." — NANCY PELOSI, known Liberal.
"Why don't you learn something about the monument." — HILLARY CLINTON, civil rights leader.
WHAT A BOOK! (Now let us never speak of it again.)
Most Popular Stories
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- Dunkin' Donuts Nixes Terrorist Rachael Ray Ad (102 comments, 2,048 views)
- Somebody Got An Obama Tattoo On His/Her Leg! (85 comments, 1,858 views)
Announcements
Hello Peoples! Remember that whole thing about your Wonkette getting a new home, and all that? Well, it is still true — and tonight, Wonkette will suffer the miracle of transmigration. What will this mean? How will you, the Wonkette Community, be affected? Will it hurt "down there"? Find out, after the jump.
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Your Wonkette Is Moving, Tonight!
Hello Peoples! Remember that whole thing about your Wonkette getting a new home, and all that? Well, it is still true — and tonight, Wonkette will suffer the miracle of transmigration. What will this mean? How will you, the Wonkette Community, be affected? Will it hurt "down there"? Find out, after the jump.
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BARRY OBAMA'S RACIST POETRY: "Under water grottos, caverns/ Filled with apes/ That eat figs./ Stepping on the figs/ That the apes/ Eat, they crunch./ The apes howl, bare/ Their fangs, dance,/ Tumble in the/ Rushing water,/ Musty, wet pelts/ Glistening in the blue." [SF Gate]
the empty pockets tour of america
Ever since John McCain pissed all over Mitt Romney in a debate, and even before then, Mormons haven't taken kindly to the foul-mouthed, unhandsome, twice-married atheist grumpus. So it's no surprise that McCain might get a lukewarm reception at a couple of Utah fundraisers — even when they feature big draws like George Bush and Mitt Romney. Hilarious details about McCain's Epic Utah Fail, after the jump.
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McCain Fundraiser Tour Fails Its Way Through Mormon World Capital
Ever since John McCain pissed all over Mitt Romney in a debate, and even before then, Mormons haven't taken kindly to the foul-mouthed, unhandsome, twice-married atheist grumpus. So it's no surprise that McCain might get a lukewarm reception at a couple of Utah fundraisers — even when they feature big draws like George Bush and Mitt Romney. Hilarious details about McCain's Epic Utah Fail, after the jump.
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annals of logging
Wonkette comical typos operative "Ron" sends us this screen shot of a CNN.com article in which Karl Rove lets slip a revelation of his own about terrible snitch Scott McClellan. McClellan's syntax in his new book reeks of liberal blogging filth? No, that's not what Rove is revealing at all! Rove is trying to tell us that homosexual lumberjack communities in the Pacific Northwest are McClellan's inspiration! IS THIS NOT CLEAR TO EVERYONE? [CNN]
Karl Rove Calls Scott McClellan Gay Woodsman
Wonkette comical typos operative "Ron" sends us this screen shot of a CNN.com article in which Karl Rove lets slip a revelation of his own about terrible snitch Scott McClellan. McClellan's syntax in his new book reeks of liberal blogging filth? No, that's not what Rove is revealing at all! Rove is trying to tell us that homosexual lumberjack communities in the Pacific Northwest are McClellan's inspiration! IS THIS NOT CLEAR TO EVERYONE? [CNN]
mutual hatred
Hillary Clinton continued the Enfranchisement Tour 2k8 today in South Dakota, which is fully franchised and will likely go for Obama on June 3 but doesn't matter. While there she visited the only "thing" in South Dakota: Mount Rushmore, where the rocks look like famous presidents. Look at Hilz in the picture, striking the pose as a park ranger fines her for littering. Maybe? Who knows what actually happened during the stop, because the ABC News report is all about... well, the headline pretty much says it all: "Clinton Ignores Press at Mt. Rushmore." This article is delicious.
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Clinton-Press Relationship Is More Dysfunctional Than Your Tragic Marriage
Hillary Clinton continued the Enfranchisement Tour 2k8 today in South Dakota, which is fully franchised and will likely go for Obama on June 3 but doesn't matter. While there she visited the only "thing" in South Dakota: Mount Rushmore, where the rocks look like famous presidents. Look at Hilz in the picture, striking the pose as a park ranger fines her for littering. Maybe? Who knows what actually happened during the stop, because the ABC News report is all about... well, the headline pretty much says it all: "Clinton Ignores Press at Mt. Rushmore." This article is delicious.
More »
john mcCain will easily win this election
Remember when those nuts on the right, Michelle Malkin and Charles Johnson, condemned beloved fast food bakery Dunkin' Donuts for letting teevee chef Rachael Ray wear a Palestinian scarf in this ad? Dunkin' Donuts first released a statement saying that no, it was not the Palestinian kaffiyeh design at all, just paisley, and a SCARF. Despite being categorically incorrect, the wingnuts have somehow "won" and Dunkin' Donuts will pull the ad due to the "possibility of misperception." Jesus. [Boston Globe]
Dunkin' Donuts Nixes Terrorist Rachael Ray Ad
Remember when those nuts on the right, Michelle Malkin and Charles Johnson, condemned beloved fast food bakery Dunkin' Donuts for letting teevee chef Rachael Ray wear a Palestinian scarf in this ad? Dunkin' Donuts first released a statement saying that no, it was not the Palestinian kaffiyeh design at all, just paisley, and a SCARF. Despite being categorically incorrect, the wingnuts have somehow "won" and Dunkin' Donuts will pull the ad due to the "possibility of misperception." Jesus. [Boston Globe]
benedict arnoldz
The White House has issued a Papal Bull in response to former press secretary Scott McClellan's new book, in which he makes bland accusations about the Bush administration like "they may not have been completely trustworthy" in order to sell his otherwise unsellable crappy account of his pathetic life. The most recent White House press secretary, smokin' hot monster Dana Perino, indicates in the pithy statement — which you can see after the jump!! — that she cannot read bookz.
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Dana Perino Confused By Most Things, But Specifically McClellan's Criticism
The White House has issued a Papal Bull in response to former press secretary Scott McClellan's new book, in which he makes bland accusations about the Bush administration like "they may not have been completely trustworthy" in order to sell his otherwise unsellable crappy account of his pathetic life. The most recent White House press secretary, smokin' hot monster Dana Perino, indicates in the pithy statement — which you can see after the jump!! — that she cannot read bookz.
More »
Email Of The Day
Way back in the early 1990s, America learned the hard way that strange e-mails from people with AOL e-mail addresses like "krazi hott lucey" are not "hott" even if they are "krazi." In other words, Hillary's special group of educationally challenged "white women" are going to launch a War of Horror against this country, America, that will make Ron Paul's Revolution look like LOVE spelled backwards. Read the curiously misspelled warning, after the jump.
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'MY FIRZT VOTE IN MY WHOLE EFFEN LIFE ..AND ITZ FOR HILLARY'
Way back in the early 1990s, America learned the hard way that strange e-mails from people with AOL e-mail addresses like "krazi hott lucey" are not "hott" even if they are "krazi." In other words, Hillary's special group of educationally challenged "white women" are going to launch a War of Horror against this country, America, that will make Ron Paul's Revolution look like LOVE spelled backwards. Read the curiously misspelled warning, after the jump.
More »
walnuts vs. liberal elites
John McCain is doing his best to romance The Hollywoods, but he has found few wealthy gay liberals willing to listen to his uplifting message of war without end. As a result, he has only been able to raise a few paltry dollars from the D list's D list — Ben Stein, Dick Van Patten, and an assortment of other balding losers who were on a TV show once. Why is Hollywood so ageist against physically and mentally deteriorating old warmongers?
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John McCain Gets No Love From Hollywood
John McCain is doing his best to romance The Hollywoods, but he has found few wealthy gay liberals willing to listen to his uplifting message of war without end. As a result, he has only been able to raise a few paltry dollars from the D list's D list — Ben Stein, Dick Van Patten, and an assortment of other balding losers who were on a TV show once. Why is Hollywood so ageist against physically and mentally deteriorating old warmongers?
More »
Campaign Ads
Here's Barry Obama's latest "pitch" to the Puerto Ricans, which he delivers in their native language. He seems to be mentioning, once again, that he was "born on an island" too. And then he says that he freed the Jews from Auschwitz & Ramses' Egypt, which is somehow true if he says it in Mexican. [Barack Obama]
Barack Obama To Puerto Rico: I'm Mexican, Too!
Here's Barry Obama's latest "pitch" to the Puerto Ricans, which he delivers in their native language. He seems to be mentioning, once again, that he was "born on an island" too. And then he says that he freed the Jews from Auschwitz & Ramses' Egypt, which is somehow true if he says it in Mexican. [Barack Obama]
so screwed
Things haven't gotten much better since we last checked in on Kwame Kilpatrick, the comical mayor of Detroit and a leading contender for Barack Obama's black vice presidency. You may recall that his "woes" include bangin' his chief of staff — the gal he seduced by texting racy notes about "Benz Chili Bowl" — and then firing a bunch of officials who found out about the affair, which he denied doing last summer until, of course, THE TEXTS CAME OUT. He also held sexy stripper parties at his mayoral mansion. So he's the best mayor of Detroit since Eminem, and he's under indictment for everything, and yesterday he basically vetoed his own ouster.
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Kwame Kilpatrick Vetoes His Own Removal
Things haven't gotten much better since we last checked in on Kwame Kilpatrick, the comical mayor of Detroit and a leading contender for Barack Obama's black vice presidency. You may recall that his "woes" include bangin' his chief of staff — the gal he seduced by texting racy notes about "Benz Chili Bowl" — and then firing a bunch of officials who found out about the affair, which he denied doing last summer until, of course, THE TEXTS CAME OUT. He also held sexy stripper parties at his mayoral mansion. So he's the best mayor of Detroit since Eminem, and he's under indictment for everything, and yesterday he basically vetoed his own ouster.
More »